Lessons of love

2009-06-19T23:58:00.000+08:00

Date: 19062009
Mood: Content
Subject title to post: Struggling, still trying

I haven't got enough sleep. I'm feeling so moody and restless now, oh my.

Today practise was cancelled because aunt needs my help to tend at the bridal shop, Xiao Man came all the way down to discuss about her wedding plans, obviously cousin was with her too. Wedding would be held at the Loving Bay Beach, that was the only I told her. You people should have looked at the epression she gave me. "That's what you've planned after so long?!" she answered. Haha, cousin was laughing at the corner. Earthling, guess what are my plans.

Alright, when I was closing the shop Ao Quan and his friend happens to pass by, he saw me and pull me along for supper with them despite the fact that I've declined his offer. I couldn't really see how his friend look like because he was putting on sunglasses, yes! His friend is effing weird, wearing a sunglass in the night. Alright, Ao Quan introduced him as Wang Zi, but I really wonder if that's his real name. Supper was awkward, somehow Ao Quan was the only one entertaining us. Ao Quan was being a nice guy who send me back home because he claimed that it's so late already.

If there's one thing that I could wish upon the stars for, I'd wish that I could forget you.

Chapter 8

2009-06-19T09:41:00.000+08:00

Date: 19062009
Mood: Content
Subject title to post: I tried faking a smile, but it doesn't seem to last

Yesterday after lessons in school Mei Mei, Xiao Man and I gathered at the school's cafeteria, wanting to make our way to visit Xiao Jie in the hospital. While leaving school, we saw many girls crowding and screaming right at the front gate, being woman we got excited and went ahead to see who was there that could cause so much commotions. To our surprise it was Hei Jiao. Initially, they knew about Xiao Jie's injury and they wanted to go visit Xiao Jie with us. Haha, Mei Mei, Xiao Man and I thought that we'd get killed by their fans judging by the number of stares which we're getting.

Alright, Xiao Jie is getting better already. Doctor says that she can be discharge from the hospital in 2 days time, but the cast wouldn't be removed just yet. Well, at least she will be out from the hopspital :D Hei Jiao really brought so much entertain to Xiao Jie, she was laughing so much.

After visiting Xiao Jie we head to the dance studio which we've booked to continue our dance practise. Tired, worn out and stressed, we broke down. We heard about the strong opponents which we'll be facing, we saw the videos of their dance moves and potential, they were incredibly strong, but we'll never give up.

We practised all the way non stop until 0200am in the morning we then left the dance studio and part our ways back home. Jia you Hei Girl (name of our dance group), we gotta strive for our goals!

To you:
It's been so long since I saw you, do you know how much I've missed you so? Eventhough I've told myself that I'd forget you, I'd but you at the back of my mind but .. I .. I don't know why do I still see your face time and time again when I'd need a motivation.

Sigh, I only reached home at 0230am in the morning feeling so restless, yet I'm only having so little sleep, it's only 0941am now. I need some sleep, I really do, I don't want to think about you anymore.

Chapter 7

2009-06-17T20:00:00.001+08:00

Date: 17062009
Mood: Stressed up
Subject title to post: Still working hard

We've concluded that we would continue our dance with only the 3 of us but some of your dance moves have changed. Though Xiao Jie is not going to perform on stage with us, she's still supporting us, she visits us while we were practising. She even got us drink each time she visits despite her injury. Today, when she was on the way, Xiao Jie fell down again. This time, she got her sprained leg fractured. Stopping our practise, we rushed to the hospital seeing her upon receiving the news. Lying on the bed with a cast wrapped on her leg, silly Jie was still trying to be cheerful and brave, I'm sure it's because she doesn't want us to be worried for her. We accompany her the whole entire day until Xiao Jie's mother came.

Note to Xiao Jie:
Jie, I know your leg is really painful but yet you're still putting on a smile and acting all strong in front of us because you're afraid that we'd get worried and affect our practise right? Jie, for you, we'll practise hard. For you, we won't give up no matter what the difficulties we're facing are. Please don't feel discourage because you won't be on stage fighting and striving towards our goals with us okay? We you'd always with us, no matted it'd be mentally or pyhsically, we know it's all the same because you're our Xiao Jie. We love you, and do get well soon. :D

Chapter 6

2009-06-15T20:28:00.001+08:00

Date: 15062009
Mood: Stressed up
Subject title to post: Accidents do happen.

Dance practise was tough today. We managed to remember all the dance steps by evening but unfortunately an accident happen. Xiao Jie had sprained her ankle, though the doctor says that it wasn't that serious buit she should need at least 2 weeks of rest. Upon hearing, all of us got really upset, we were lost not knowing what to do about the up coming dance competition and Xiao Jie kept blaming herself for being sp careless. All of us were panicking because competition would be in 10 days time that means we have to find a replacement in this short period of time and that's really hard. We sent Xiao Jie home and starting talking about our performance, it's either we get a new replacement or it'd be a dance performance with only 3 dancers on stage.

A message to Xiao Jie:
Jie, please don't blame yourself anymore. None of us wish for this to happen, I know you're feeling very upset because you wouldn't be able to go on stage and strive with us but I'd like you to know that it's okay, for we know even if you're not there with us physically you'd be there with us mentally. So Jie, don't be worry about the performance alright? We'll give you a surprise, we'll give it our all. We'll strive and work hard towards our goal, for you. Please take good care of yourself alright, and get well soon. Most importantly, silly one, stop blaming yourself!

Chapter 5

2009-06-12T21:23:00.002+08:00

Time: 2123 hours
Mood: Content
Subject title to post: Taking the cure

Who says that competitors will not be able to be friends ? While practising dance lately the group of us made some new friends. They are Ah Wei, Ao Quan and Xiao Jie, they formed Hei Jiao, also they would be joining the Youth Festival Dance Competition too. They're doing breaking for the competition while we're doing hip hop. We met them when we were about to leave the dance studio after our practise, they were coming in for their practise then. Very soon, we became really good friends and both groups would wait for each other after dance practise and we'd head out for supper.

Today my girls and I met out with them for karaoke at night after dance practise. Cousin followed too worried that something might happen to us because he said that we don't really know the guys afterall despite the fact that we assured him that nothing would happen. Truthfully, I doubt that he's worried about the group of us but he's just worried about Xiao Man, haha! Isn't cousin too over protective? Well, at least that proves that he loves my bestfriend alot, right Xiao Man? (Haha, Xiao Man's staying over at my house and she's right beside me now. Also, she's nodding her head in agreement.)

Hei Jiao's such a joker. Not just they can dance, they are so entertaining in the kuso way. If there'd be some kuso competition I'm sure that they'd get the champion especially Ah Wei and Ao Quan. They were dancing and behaving like monkeys. I bet if their fans were to see them behaving like this, their jawas would drop, haha! After karaoke, Hei Jiao left, Mei Mei and Xiao Jie went home together since they're neighbours, cousin sent Xiao Man and I back and left soon after that.

Oh my, Xiao Man's already asleep, isn't it abit too fast, she's was just nodding less than 5 minutes ago. She's so 'dead' on my bed now. Dear bestfriend is such a pig.

Alright enough about today, back to myself. Like what I have said previously, I have decided to stop loving him but it seems so difficult. If I could I would, but I'm struggling to. If only my prince could appear and save me from drowning. If only, I could be strong in the inside. If only, I could have the determination to continue to fake a smile. Silly me, feels tired from thinking, I want my brain dead.

Chapter 4

2009-06-11T20:45:00.001+08:00

Time: 2045 hours
Mood: Depressed
Subject title to post: Sometimes, it's just hard to hide.

After days of working in my aunt’s bridal shop continuously, finally I’ve got my time off. Well, though I’ve left with only 4 days until my school reopens but at least I’d still have time for myself, I’m not a workaholic like everyone thought I was alright. About Xiao Man’s wedding plan, I’m still cracking my brain to think of something for her.

Alright, about today .. I was out practising dance with Mei Mei, Xiao Jie and Xiao Man. Well, there’s this Youth Festival Dance Competition coming up every year and we’re aiming to get into the top 3 places this year, we got into the 6th place last year. The dance competition will be in 2 weeks time and we just started practising. This time Mei Mei is the choreographer, she’s the best dancer in the clique well Xiao Man’s the most experienced dancer in the clique. Xiao Jie and I are more of the new dancers, but we aren’t that bad too okay, haha. (Self praise is international’s big disgrace? HAHA.)

While taking break after 3 hours of tidious dance practise, my 3 lovely ladies started to complain that they were hungry so we decided to stop our practise for today. Our favourite restaurant, Parfait Amour was were we headed to for dinner. Upon reaching I saw him, something that caught my attention instantly as soon as I stepped into the restaurant. It’s my eyecandy, Arron. It’s been so long since I last saw him. He looked over and welcome with us with a friendly smile but right after that he looked away and walked off. I doubt he remembers me, sigh. Does he even know that we’ve met each other on a basketball court? No matter how many reasons there were, somehow I’ve decided that I should stop loving him for he’s just a child. Hey, I’m like 17 this year, so he’d be only 15, oh man I really dread age gap. Though people say age aint the problem but it seems like I do take it to heart, besides I doubt he even have a tiny whiny little bit of feelings for me. Judging by the way he looked at me just now, it’s obvious enough to show that he doesn’t know me, at all.

Back at home after dinner, I was alone. I hated being alone when it’s at night, that’s the time when I’d start thinking of all the rubbish. Most importantly, that’s the time when I’d miss both my mom and dad the most. I remembered how much they’d love and dote on me when they were around. Unfortunately, they passed away in a car accident on my 14th birthday, later I started to live on my own. Even during family gathering I’d be alone, without my parents being with me but Xiao Yu’s mom, my aunt supported me through out. She’d be there for me, like a mother. She knew that I’d feel weird living with them thus she supported my housing expenses, to thank her I work to pay her monthly, not much but at least that would make me feel better.

Sigh, mom and dad I miss you.

Chapter 3

2009-06-09T21:05:00.001+08:00

Time: 2105 hours
Mood: Content
Subject title to post: Me and my shadows

Dear diary, my friend is getting married at the age of 20. How great? She've got her happiness but where's mine? Though Xiao Man is 20 years old, 3 years older than me, we were really close. She's my senior from the dance club. We became really close friends probably because of the common topics we have. She's now so called happily engaged to my cousin while I still haven't even got my first boyfriend.

Well, I've been carrying a torch for sometime till now but with a stranger 2 years younger than me. I met him while I was playing basketball with my other 2 friends Mei Mei and Xiao Jie. Xiao Jie is my classmate while Mei Mei is also a friend of my dance club. Initially, the 4 of us are in the same CCA, also we're in the same clique. Xiao Jie is also at the age of 17, Mei Mei is 19 years old. Alright, we don't really know the rules of the game but we still enjoy the game alot. I remembered clearly that the first time I saw him was then the 30th of July last year, as soon as I saw him, I gotta confess .. I've never seen such a cute guy before and that I've never been so in love with someone before. I named him eyecandy.

Eyecandy = Is someone you see that can make you really happy no matter how depressed you are.

After I met him I'd go down to the basketball court more frequent with Mei Mei and Xiao Jie. They knew that I was so crazy about him. Soon, I found out what his name was. Arron is his name, also I managed to steal his phone number from one of our ball mate but never have I tried messaging him.

It's so hillarious how silly I could be. Sometimes after work, I'd purposely go down all the way to the court to see if eyecandy was there. All I need was some motivation because work and practices have been tiring me out, yes and he is my one and only motivation.

Chapter 2

2009-06-08T20:58:00.000+08:00

Time: 2058 hours
Mood: Content
Subject title to post: In the blink of an eye

Today while working Xiao Man dropped by all of a sudden. I thought she was giving me a surprise since we haven't seen each other for sometimes eversince holidays started, I was wrong. She dropped by to share a good news with me. The moment she step into the bridal shop she started telling that I was the one. I was confused and I totally don't get what she was trying to say. "You're the one!" she repeated. Finally, I get to know what she's trying to say, Xiao Yu have proposed to her and that's when all the picture fits exactly into place, what she meant was that I'm going to be the one who's going to help her with her wedding, or should I say I'd be the one planning?

Sometimes I really wondered how Xiao Man and Xiao Yu fell in love with each other. They're totally from 2 different worlds. Xiao Yu is a rocker, he plays hard rock metal songs while elegant Xiao Man plays the flute. I tried asking Xiao Man how they could get so well but all that she could answer is that they have some kind of connection between them which made them so attracted to each other. They're love at first sight. Xiao Man first saw Xiao Yu at a hardrock band concert. Actually Xiao Man doesn't like noisy places but because Mei Mei was the one bugging her to go with her, she doesn't have a choice. There was where she met Xiao Yu and there was where Xiao Yu saw the girl who's the love of his life. While playing and singing on stage, his eyes wasn't on the crowd but only on Xiao Man. Isn't it sweet?

Oh, did I say that Xiao Yu was my cousin? Well, at first I didn't know that they were dating each other until I saw Xiao Man's phone wall paper. I remember calling him straight away to ask him. The truth is that he doesn't know that his girlfriend was my best friend. Xiao Man was shocked too, haha. They're reaction was so funny.

As an outsider of their relationship I could tell that they're deeply in love with each other and it seems like my cousin has changed so much for my best friend. He used to have so many ex-girlfriends and they would be one of his fans, well at least that's what I thought. Why? Because everytime when there's a family gathering I would see photos of different girls in his phone and he'd always tell me that they're over if I were to ask him. If I didn't remember wrongly, his longest relationship is only up to 2 months back then, it feels like he's being cursed not being able to have a relationship after 2 months.

Today, Xiao Man is telling me that good news. Yes, they've been together for 2 years until now. Yesterday was their 2nd year anniversary and cousin had proposed to her. Judging by Xiao Man's facial expression today at the bridal shop while telling me about cousin's proposal I could tell how happy and delighter she was. How great, truly deep down inside I was happy for both my best friend and my cousin.

Sigh, but where's my happiness when my friend have got hers'?

Chapter 1

2009-06-06T23:50:00.006+08:00

Time: 2350 hours
Mood: Upset
Subject title to post: At the edge of madness

Hello, I'm Gui Gui, 17 this year. Sometimes I really wonder what true love is all about. Is there actually rules when you're in love? Can you or not fall in love with someone younger than you?

I'm a student and I work as a part time in my aunt's bridal shop. I've seen so many couples walking in happily with plans of future in their heads, some managed to live happily ever after even after their marriage but unfortunately some failed. Those who failed are couples that would be quarreling over their wedding outfit and end up breaking up. It's so hillarious how people could end their relationship so easily just because the groom thinks that the gown that the bride is wearing doesn't suit the rich and mighty him. Is love such a shallow relationship?

I witness a couple quarreling today. The bride was really beautiful and I myself thought that the gown suits her very well but suddenly a quarrel broke out. I came out with the bride form the changing room after helping her with the gown, it's strapless and there isn't much designs on it, simple yet beautiful. Once the groom saw what the bride is wearing, immediately he started saying that she could change because he thought that gown was too simple. Shouldn't love be simple yet beautilful? "Change it!" that's what he commanded when the bride refuse. The bride was really upset. I could tell, tears were welling up in her eyes, they're trying not to fall. Though upset about her future husband sudden change she said, "Dear, it doesn't matter if it's simple because I don't mind. Our love need not be so full of ideas, I just wish that we could continue this simple yet beautiful love, like this gown which I've chosen." What the bride says really touched my heart deeply, not only she's beautiful on the outside, she's even more gorgeous in the inside. Wanting to live a simple life after marriage for a woman in this century is hard to fish. I was so deep in thoughts when someone shouted, it then brought me back to reality. "NO! It shouldn't be simple don't you get it? It's me that you're gonna marry to! C'mon, pick a better gown, don't disgrace me!" he exclaimed. Shit, upon hearing I wanted to whack him, I wanted to give him a tight slap. How could he say this to a woman on her happy day? I really couldn't stand what he's talking about. "Dear? I.." before the bride could even finish what she had to say, he interrupted, "So you don't wish to get a better gown eh? Fine, so be it. Don't blame me for being mean, bye old woman." after saying, he walked out of the shop.

What the hell is happening? Right after the groom went out, the bride couldn't control her tears anymore. Ten minutes ago, the beautiful bride who's standing right in front of me is now the heart roken lady crying in front of me. I remember asking her if she was alright, she looked up, smile at me and assured me she was fine. "I thought he'd be a matured man after proposing to me. You know Miss Wu, he's 3 years younger than me, but I loved him despite the fact that I know people would start ranting about us. I really didn't mind, but he seemed to be the one thinking so highly of just himself. It seems like the marriage is all fake. Sorry to trouble you so much Miss Wu." the bride told me. Before I could answer her, she went to change in her casual clothes and left straight away.

Sigh, what's is love?
_________________________________

The image of the gown:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/14650536@N05/1778584273/

Comments please!